A message for degenerate gamblers:

When I was a small boy, my grandfather sat me down next to him, and he gave me some sound advice. I'm going to share it with you.

"Mac, my boy," he said, "Never bet on Alabama. This is the illegal gambling capital of the world, and there are so many bets placed on the Tide that they drive the lines up, and they're always favored by more than they should be. Only bet on Alabama when they're an underdog and you think they're going to win."

"Now, go play."